:: Short and scottish ::

:: Friday, October 15, 2004 ::

Filthy moods

I seem to be having a lot of mood swings recently. This could be down to a couple of things.

1) I am between contracts at the moment this means that the flat gets tidied during the day, I purchase more reading material, and eat more, but essentially I am bored. I recon that my body may be spicing up my life a little by throwing in a few emotional swings.

2) I have been watching an awful lot of daytime TV, this has resulted in the normal brain drain… I have also noticed that Richard and Judy get the same gets as “This Morning” this could be down to the plugging circuit or it could be a secret plot to hypnotise people through repetition… thus resulting in yet more mood swings.

3) Chocolate…. I am not normally one to eat loads of chocolate in one go
but I have been doing an awful lot of that recently.

4) My mother, now I love my mother to bits and I think that she is a fantastic lady and a great roll model, however she has taken to calling me a lot to suggest things… like becoming a doctor or a nutritionist. Then when I have politely hung up the phone she will ring again with yet just another point and another and another, until my patience has been worn down to a stub.

5) I haven’t been sleeping very well at all… this is down to nightmares… which could be down to my brain trying to excite itself probably its equivalent to a kid telling scary stories.

Anyway at least the writer’s block has been un blocked… writers cramp to follow shortly lets hope.

:: Chantal 9:00 PM [+] ::
...

Empty Pages
Probably the most powerful thing in the world is the empty page.
It can mystify the most eloquent of people.
It has the potential to become part of the most amazing poem or a paper aeroplane, but until someone writes on it or uses it then it is just raw potential waiting...
That is sometimes how I feel amount myself, because no matter how many pieces of paper are filled there will always be plenty more.

I have had a few mad weeks, I finished my contract and went on holiday to Spain.
I have been pretty busy

This is no excuse for not blogging and I will share all my thoughts soon, i just have to digest them all into a coherent glue first.

So keep checking i might surprise you.

I will fill more empty pages soon.

:: Chantal 5:54 PM [+] ::
...

Shouty men

I have an constant enigma in my life.
About one in ten times of me walking up a street wearing a skirt or a tight top or even my baggy wear. A man decides that it would be an excellent idea to shout things out their car window "like hey gorgeous" or "smile" or "hey it might never happen" or "worse things happen at sea" except for the last one, where I replied "maybe I should become a sailor then." I almost always ignore them.
I just don't understand what they hope to gain from shouting at girls as they walk along. Do they honestly think that by saying these words I am going to go up to them and start a conversation with them and then provide them with my number?

What kind of a conversation starter is "smile" anyway....
smile
why
because the world seems better when you smile?
does it? well I would like to exercise my right as a member of the a free and democratic country to frown when I want to relax my facial muscles when i want and yes to smile when i want and not just cause some Burk has told me to... if that is ok?
err yeah
good, now would you like my number?
it just doesn't happen...



:: Chantal 2:46 PM [+] ::
...

The last hill

Let it never be said that I don’t keep my promises on the 8th of may 2004 I brought a bike. It is blue. As a result I have been cycling into work almost everyday for the past two week and I have observed several interesting things.

• The roads in London are very rough. I don’t mean rough as in there being mad crazy people walking around ready to jump you. I mean rough as in not smooth. Most people when they are driving a car do not notice the cracks in the road or the fact that yellow lines raise up like near mountains. When you are on a bike you feel EVERYTHING.
• White van men are very observant especially when it comes to underwear. Up
• Until my bike riding days white van men seemed to be gits who cut you up rather that drive safely behind and to be honest they always seemed a bit daft. But now they have become observant gits with an totally unrespectable knowledge of “the thong song.” This has made me reconsider my cycling wardrobe to tracky bottoms and underwear that will not be seen by van, or any other type of vehicle diver.
• My Bum, ok this is not something I normally spend a lot of time thinking about and to honest I think my bum is decidedly average. However It has been hurting a lot recently and I think it may be firming up and becoming perter… I will keep you all posted any suggestions on how to measure the pertness of bum cheeks would be met in the spirit in science.
• I want a day glo vest… buying a bike has resulted in me wanting things I never considered before… like day glo vests and fingerless gloves and bike shorts which has led me to believe that the true decade for bike fashion is the 1980s.
• The last hill is a bugger I have realised recently that apart from my brief life in Eailing I have either lived on hills. University – hill, 1st house – hill now – hill… I seem to have a hill fetish, before this psychological tendency did not pose a major problem except when carrying food back from the super market . Now however living on the top of a hill means cycling up the hill every evening and it is this last struggle that I am using to gauge my fitness when it is no longer a struggle I can consider myself suitable for bigger and greater challenges.

Anyway back to enjoying the brief London sunshine…

:: Chantal 3:19 PM [+] ::
...

Clapham Junction
I am going to this more often... tring to find beautiful things in the everyday. It has allowed me to feel slightly more optimistic. Today for example i saw rail workers wearing orange vests walking in a synchroniced manner along the track it was like they really had been considering donning rubber hats and frilly swimming cossys and springing into a pool of fresh blue dyed water.
Also as you walk along the bridge portion of clapham junction get a great veiw of london and the big white circles of wandsworth round a bout always wondered what the hell that was supposed to be and me stairing at it from clapham junction bridge thing wasn't helping with the meaning much and I had to go to work.
The other thing I realised was that I really should buy a bike so that i dont keep stairing at things at railway stations...
:: Chantal 10:46 PM [+] ::
...

Beautiful things

The cherry blossom is up and falling every where the world always seems prettier with cherry blossom… the thing about beautiful things is that they still make a mess.

Take Swans, huge beautiful graceful and white with long necks that end in a perfect beak. Poems get written about them, the most famous ballet ever written is about swans. But have you ever seen swan Poo? It is big sticky and smelly and it smells. Oh and a swan can break you arm if you get too close.

The most stunningly attractive flowers are normally the most poisonous. The thing is that we still love to look we are still drawn into the trap, we are subconsciously rewarded for staring at beautiful things.

So I have decided to try staring at things which are considered ugly and I will try and find something beautiful in it. I am going to start tomorrow with Clapham Junction Train Station. Not considered a high spot in design or an architecture wonder. In pass through it every day and haven’t found a single eye pleasing feature but I haven’t been looking.

I will let you know how it goes.

:: Chantal 10:26 PM [+] ::
...

Marathons

A long time ago there used to be a very nice chocolate called a marathon, implying that it lasted a very long time and was a lot of work. Perhaps because of the implication its name got changed to snickers which implys that it stinks of cheese, oh well.
The thing is that alot of things in life have the feeling of marthons. You start with this great feeling of expectation and excitement with a smudge of dread, then you get into it and after a while you get a bit fed up and then comes the point when everything is screaming at you to stop, you have passed the point where you motivation leaves you and only one little step is enough to drive you onward and the stupid womble has already over taken you. Then when you finish you feel this amazing rush that envelops your body and then pain unbeleivable crushing aching pain.
Apply that anology to whatever you are going through now and try and beleive that some point it will feel worth it.
:: Chantal 9:28 PM [+] ::
...